Believing without seeing


Much like doubting Thomas, I wanted to see things to believe them.
 
I wanted someone else to have done it first and proven that “it” worked.

I wanted someone else to assume all risk.

I wanted to safely follow another’s path instead of creating my own.

Well Buddy caused me to re-evaluate and change my mentality.

I had been so afraid of making a mistake that I couldn’t make a decision.

I was emotionally paralyzed for years by my own fear of failure and rejection and my need to be perfect.

Maria Shriver once said, “Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel perfect; it makes you feel inadequate.”

I was trying to gain the approval of others by creating an image of who I thought I was supposed to be.

But I never stopped to think about who I wanted to be.

I’ve had to slow down and be more intentional about how I spend my time.  

In order to coordinate Buddy’s therapies as well as his program and to be mindful to spend quality time with Munchakin, there’s not a lot of “free” time.

I prioritize what needs to get done and make sure I’ve carved out time to get done what I want to do.

Self care is important as is self discovery.

I’m learning to be me. And as my daughter’s Pete the Cat book teaches, “if you want to be cool, just be you.”

If I can come to this realization after working so hard to put up walls, under the right circumstances, anyone can.

And if such a drastic perspective change is possible in my stubborn, defensive, I have to always be right self, anything is possible.  

While many might not agree with or even understand the holistic path we have chosen for our son, we are acting on faith.

We believe that prayers have led us to the proper places at specific times for us to learn what we have.

We believe that we are doing the best we can for Buddy and our family.

We believe all the effort is worthwhile. Even if Buddy doesn’t reach the milestones we hope for, we know his ripple effect is a significant one.

We will never know all the lives his story has affected simply because of Buddy being Buddy.

We may never see the impact he makes, but we hope and believe his journey is making a difference.

We continue to believe without needing to see…

Happy 2nd Birthday to our little man!

Jeremey Camp – “Same Power”

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